Greetings, my pawsome human minions and cat cohorts.
Forrest here, awakened from another porch nap by a cat in need of advice.
The tuxedo cat in question came dashing onto my porch, meowing out my name. Well, I woke from my nap with a start, ready to swat. A stranger on the porch, hollering…who wouldn’t raise their fur?
In spite of my griping, the tuxedo said, “I don’t have much time, my mom will find me soon, but the neighborhood calls you wise whiskers and I need your help.”
I encouraged him to have a seat and calm down, but he just kept pacing. “I’ve escaped my house because I’m so bored there. What can I do?”
To my fellow felines, I’m going to tell you what I told him because boredom plagues every one of us at some point. But beware, my methods to help you get your parents to understand how bored you are can be draconian. You’re going to have to wreak havoc.
Ways to Behave to Show You’re a Bored Cat
Eat, eat, and eat until your bowl is actually empty.
I’m not talking about the half-full version we tell our parents is empty, but actually really empty. Humans tend to notice when we eat too much. In fact, I think the word ‘chubby’ is thrown around in our house at least twice a week when it comes to my physique. I feel no shame at the word. I’m proud to eat enough to be known as a fat cat.
Go on a hunger strike.
This is not an idea I choose to follow as food is too good not to eat. But, if you’re desperate for change, you can try the not eating route. It definitely gets parental attention because they like to worry about us and our food consumption. We’ve trained them well. So why skip perfectly good meals.
If your bored, eating passes the time. Not eating and a growling stomach, well that just makes me hissy because the time passes even slower. But do what feels right to you, it’s not my belly staying empty.
Does your mom love a plant and fills her time with caring for it? Show her you’re bored by knocking over the pot and rolling in the spilled dirt. Maybe chew a leaf or two, but be sure you’re nipping cat-safe house plants.
Or, if your dad loves his video games, pounce the controllers or tug the cords. Side note: lay on the console, it’s warm, and if your snoozing hits a reset button in the process…excellent. You can consider this a win.
Stacks of paper lying around? Have a party! Shred that paper to confetti and go crazy doing it. If your parent sees you having so much fun with simple paper, they may realize you need more toys.
Scratch the house to splinters.
We pass much time scratching on things. Without the ability to sink our claws into stuff and stretch with a good scratching session, boredom can really drag us down. Take control of your boredom by shredding the couch fabric or carving a dent in a wooden door frame (that’s my favorite). The house is full of amazing scratching options to demonstrate your feline boredom.
Take extra naps.
Boredom can be alleviated for a short time thanks to the escape of napping. There you can dream of chasing birds in the yard and digging up dirt or scratching trees. No one knows boredom in their dreams and neither will you. Plus, the more you nap, the more your minions will get that you are a bored cat.
Lick yourself bald.
Overgrooming can signal boredom in cats, making this boredom hint easy. We already enjoy our meticulous grooming routines, after all, we are cats, we have standards to uphold. Adding some extra strokes of the tongue over a particular spot will thin your fur, bringing about human notice.
Though it goes against our style, boredom can bring about extreme measures. So, as much as it messes up your perfect coif, too much bathing does make a point. And making a point is another of cat’s favorite activities.
A fun bonus to demonstrating you’re just sick and tired of everything? The naughty blast you get to have getting the message out to the family! Go cuckoo, my furry friends.
To the cat lovers, bust your cat’s boredom by appealing to their wild nature. Cats need play, exercise, and stalking practice. Without these things, we get bored. And when a cat is bored, woe to the humans.
Learn more about keeping your cat entertained.
And, purrhaps your Fur Majesty will allow a peaceful existence. But to be sure of it, don’t forget to feed the cat.
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Feature Image: @aclyric.paintings/Instagram & @alexandrapopa_b/Instagram